‘Hey, guys, let’s land this tub for a moment,’ Jack called to the bats. The bats brought the carriage in for a landing, then Jack started the flames shooting from his eyes. Flames from the eyes always impress the locals. ‘Dost thou know WHOM thou hast DISTURBED?!’ The bats lent an eerie cacophonic chorus beside Jack — he’d have to make sure their gruel was extra rancid later to thank them for that. The waver dropped to his knees. ‘Oh, Mr O’Lantern! Please! I beseech thee! For thou art the greatest malefic spirit in all the realms!’ Hmm … ‘greatest malefic spirit in all the realms’ was a decent beginning. If the guy kept this up, Jack might wind up liking the fellow. ‘Why hast thou disturbethest me?!’ Oops. But most people don’t care about grammar or conjugations and things when fire is shooting from the other guy’s eyes. ‘Please, I seek your assistance, m’lord. I have been cursed — a curse most foul, dire and unfair. I have sought the wise counsel of many on how to break this curse,. .. then I thought of Lisa and Lori and wondered if I was really exaggerating by much. Besides, Rhonda would be no help; her twin sister Jill was one of those crazy teenagers. My head started to hurt again as I thought about how a twenty-something year old woman could have a fifteen year old twin sister.We solved the problem by redoing our master bedroom. We knocked out some walls, expanded, and made it into a small apartment. I also added a lot of soundproofing in the walls and ceiling.Megan and Amy asked what I was doing as I added the insulation. When I explained about privacy and soundproofing, they looked at me as if I was crazy, then promptly fell on the floor, giggling uncontrollably. Once they recovered ... kinda ... nothing else would do but to call all the other girls in and try to explain in between fits of giggling what I was doing. Victoria looked at me, smiled, shook her head sadly at the terrible tragedy of her seriously retarded brother and wandered back out of the.
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